When was the last time you said a ‘no’ to your child? Last week, yesterday, or just an hour back? We all have to say no too many times. Sometimes our no is met with a frown, or a tantrum. But that does not deter us from repeating it very often. A lot is said about the importance of saying no to children. But is there a way to make a yes out of a no? Or a way to hide a no in a sweet yes?
Think about the various situations where we are forced to say no to our children. The list might not be as long as you think. Come on, we are all indulgent parents. We don’t like to break our child’s heart. Let us deal with five situations depending on our children’s ages.
No to expensive toys
This might look like a laborious task. Telling your kids that they can’t buy that expensive PlayStation or remote controlled car may make you look like a miserly parent. But there are ways to deal with this. Let us think of the scenario.
Your little one is standing before you with an advertisement of his or her demand. “Mama, I want this.” You look at the price tag, and oops!! Way beyond your reach. So what do you do? Tell them, “This is too expensive for us?” Instead of saying no to children, let us approach this in another way.
Suppose it is a remote controlled car. You show your interest in the stuff, but you feel that there might be other better options. “This is good, but let us search for more like this.” Search is at your fingertips, and you sit with them to scroll through the options. Land on something that is less costly, and is interesting at the same time.
“This car looks equally good. Plus, we can assemble this all by ourselves. Mama will sit with you, and we will make it together.” But don’t hide from them the fact that their choice is expensive. Just don’t stress the price factor too much. Of course, the kids will see through it as they grow older. But by then, we have things under control, right?
No to tantrums
Kids love throwing tantrums when parents don’t listen to them. It is most embarrassing to have your children yelling at you in a public place. Kids know that, and they take advantage. Some parents stifle these tantrums with a stern no, and maybe a spanking later on. This does more harm than good.
Is it okay to give in to their tantrums? Absolutely not. You should make the kids understand that their tantrums won’t work. But saying no to children is not the right solution. You need to change the way you react to their tantrums. Stop turning all red and embarrassed the moment kids go into the tantrum mode. Though you are uncomfortable with the way they act up, don’t show it. Or rather, take it with a smile. Take the kids away from the place, in an unruffled and composed manner.
Maybe you can include a fun element here. When you are out of the situation, you can put on a smiling face and ask them how they felt. Tell them about all the faces which were staring at them, and about the frown or laughter on their faces. Your kids wanted to embarrass you, but definitely did not want to lower themselves in the eyes of some strangers. So the lesson learned!
No to junk food
As parents, we keep hearing this question. “Why is all tasty food junk?” Kids have a point here. Be it pizza, burger, coke, or chips, whatever they love comes under ‘junk food.’ They demand a lot of it. You relent once, twice, but how many times? One day you are forced to say a strict no.
So what are our options here? Offer them healthy food instead? Yes, but make it look like the junk they crave for. When they ask for fried chips, offer them air-fried or baked ones instead. A delicious looking fruit smoothie in place of coke? Pizza can also be replaced with a healthier homemade version, with whole wheat base and lots of veggies.
The trick here is to make the alternative look as delicious as the original one. Depending on the age of your kids, you can involve them in cooking as well. Maybe peel fruits or squeeze lemons or similar stuff. Make this cooking a celebration!! Kids will forget that they ever asked for junk food.
No to fights with siblings
When you have two or more children at home, internal clashes become a serious issue. And you are mostly the moderator. If you stand with justice, you hurt one and make the other happy. The usual fights go like ‘she broke my toy,’ or ‘he tore my book.’ Does it help to say a harsh no, and confiscate the belongings of both? Not really.
Instead of saying no to children, we should make them understand what is right and what is wrong. But that comes later, when things are settled. The first priority is to make peace between the warring factions. So you jump in, and offer to play a fighting game involving all of you. It is a move from one fight to another, so the kids don’t object. Let the fight be a pillow fight or a balloon bursting fight, or any other harmless one.
When the fight is between you and kids, the kids mostly team up against you. The merrier the game gets, the sooner kids forget their original fight. When things are settled, you can softly tell them what was wrong. Give it a try.
No to excessive screen time
Bane or boon, screens are eating up a major chunk of our days. This is true not just for kids, but even for us, parents. What is the best way to get your children away from screens? Keeping a strict tab on their online activities, and saying a no whenever needed? Well, that works too. But we have better solutions.
Here, you are dealing with slightly bigger kids who can see through all your parenting tricks. They are sure to protest, “Mom you are also glued to your mobile the whole day.” Yes, they are right. So the first point, you limit your own screen time, and then tell the kids to follow.
There will still be protests and shouts. You can allow them a short uninterrupted personal screen time, and then nudge them to join a family screen time later on. Watch a movie of their choice, and don’t forget to fall in love with their favorite characters. Believe me, children just love this family movie time, whatever their age is.
Here, the advantage is that you have complete control. Movie over, screen gone. You can switch to some other fun activities which do not revolve around screens. Compared to other tricks, this one is tougher. But when your children’s future is at stake, this is worth a try, right?
There is lot more for you to explore here. Are you interested in solving a few quizzes with your kids? Head to our Quiz section and you will enjoy.
